


when the light begins to fade

by starry_eyed_knight



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Gen, Logic | Logan Sanders Angst, Off-Screen Major Character Death, Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-07 17:22:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26641390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/starry_eyed_knight/pseuds/starry_eyed_knight
Summary: Virgil looks back on his last day with Logan.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders & Logic | Logan Sanders, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Logic | Logan Sanders
Kudos: 44





	when the light begins to fade

**Author's Note:**

> please heed the warnings!
> 
> the style here was v experimental here, and this is also v old; please bear with me

“Tell me what you remember about when you last saw him.”

_ It was cool out. That beginning of October kind of cool where your mom tells you to bring a sweater because you’ll regret it if you don’t. He didn’t bring a sweater, but I brought my hoodie. _

_ You’d think, you know, being so smart, he would’ve thought to bring a jacket. He’d text me that morning to tell me what the weather would be like that afternoon. _

_ I asked him about that, later on when he got cold, and he said he was so nervous he forgot. He was focused on looking nice. I couldn’t believe that - there was no way he  _ forgot _ something because of me, but I guess it didn’t really matter. _

_ He did look nice though. He was wearing a NASA shirt I bought him - the logo had the colors of the pan flag. And a high-waisted galaxy skirt with suspenders and the boots we painted for Pride. He looked amazing, and I wanted to tell him, but I was so anxious. I should have told him. _

_ We went to that park off 4th and Main. It was always abandoned, like they’d built it and then forgotten. The trees were so colorful and the sky was this perfect blue and the clouds were gold and pink. It was perfect. _

_ He wanted to step on all the crunchy leaves. He said it was for science, but I knew he just liked the sound. He stepped on one that was louder than the others and I said something like, “ASMR,” and he laughed. _

_ Not like a little polite laugh either, like, a genuine laugh. Those were so rare from him. _

_ It started getting dark and really cold and he wouldn’t admit it but he was obviously freezing so I gave him my hoodie. It looked so weird on him, but like, in a good way? Like it was weird but I definitely wanted to see it again. _

_ I guess I won’t get to now. _ _  
_ _ We started to head home; we live - uh, lived, in the same neighborhood so we walked together for awhile. He stopped me before we parted ways. _

_ He, um - he told me he loved me, and to always remember that. Then he gave me a box. He made me promise not to open it til morning. I guess he knew if I saw what was in it I’d never have left him alone. _

“What was in the box, Virgil?”

_ It was - it was his copy of ‘Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland’. His favorite copy - the one he wrote notes in the margins of. It was his favorite thing ever, he never let anyone touch it. If I would have seen it that night I would’ve known something was wrong. The whole day was wrong, looking back at it. 20-20 hindsight and all that. _

_ I just - I can’t believe he’s gone. I should’ve seen the signs, I should have done more. _

“You can’t blame yourself.”

_ I can and I damn well will. Logan was my best friend and I love him and I should have done something. What do I do now? _

“You live for him.”

**Author's Note:**

> hey there! if you recognize this work, or others uploaded here recently, you probably read it on my old tumblr (back-with-a-madness or stars-welcome-them). i've since moved blogs and i'm finally getting around to uploading my fics here.
> 
> find me at @starry-eyed-spectre


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